Popular Japanese Stereotype - Honne and Tatemae
March 26th, 2009
In today’s episode we shed some light on a popular Japanese stereotype. Hang out with us as we share our own experiences and view point on this popular notion of how Japanese people are.
Tatemae is a social lubricant
It sounds so logical and nice when you explain it… but living in it every day is so tiring T_T
After five??? You mean after ten! With all the darn free overtime.
@kanmuri
I totally agree that living the tatemae lifestyle is exhausting. But now that I’m back in the states, I kinda miss it. I guess the grass is always greener on the other side…except when it comes to overtime pay!
Omoshiroi desu,
I think it shows how polite Japanese culture is, but I suppose you might not know where you stand sometimes, or does honne automatically follow after Tatemae.
@Tony
Honne doesn’t automatically follow after tatemae- it tends to come out when someone becomes very comfortable with you, or is tired of putting on a smiley face all of the time. You are much more likely to see honne expressed between family and people in close friendships.
My wife was explaining some of her friendships as “tatemae” friendships yesterday, meaning she never expresses her honne with these particular friends (because they haven’t known each other for very long yet).
English people exhibit similar behaviour. I think its less common now than when I was younger.
@Peter
Interesting observation…
interesting, never ran across such a lesson but the way you explain it I understand so much better now when i think back on the few Japanese people I have me or know
Wait, I’m confused…How are japanese people any different from women in general? Neither ever say what they’re actually feeling.
@James
On the record: No comment.
Off the record: LOL!
Thats one thing that’s hard for me when living in Japan. I am sooo open about things. Like if someone has krap on their face ill tell them…or if someone asks me if what they are wearing looks good on them….i tell them the truth cause I know I would want the truth in return….but being in Japan its like soooo different. Small example but one every foreigner hears is ….あー日本語が上手ですね。you never know if they are just trying to be nice or if they are being nice and telling the truth. Though I knew they were lying when I was there my first week and knew like NO japanese and I just said one lil thing like…すみませんがこれはいくらですか。 and the girl was like WOW your japanese is so good! and I had no idea what she said…ahaha. awkward….
@Peter Yea, deffo, English people have this process too, yet its prevalence is not so immediate. In fact, due to this, when an English person eventually says what they actually mean, it cause massive arguments as the person can then be seen to be conniving or misleading. Oh dear..
@Keyla
I totally agree with you and know exactly how you feel! Great example about how the Japanese are quick to compliment foreigners on their Japanese skills.
@Ryan
good to know! I work with some English people so I’ll have to keep that in mind.